if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough
if your teenage years are meant for experimenting with relationships i’m fucked
"gays will push their sexuality onto their children"
funny because that’s exactly what every straight person does.
my grandma is angry at my grandpa because when they went to the doctors the lady asked what he was allergic to and he said his wife
i donate blood in the hopes that my blood will overpower theirs and take control of their body so i will gain another vessel to use as my own
why am I reblogging this?
it appears my blood has been successful
Louis C.K.’s opening monologue on SNL.
do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”
How to play sims
1. take 2 hours making character
3. Fuck every single person